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You 100% Control Your Life.

How many times have you seen some line like this in the Personal Development industry? As a personal development advocate, I don't agree with it anymore. Hear me out...


In the last week alone, we had two family medical emergencies. They were nothing major major, but they rendered me suddenly writing off an entire day last minute that I had set aside for working on my own business. One was for my husband, and the other was my mother. I absolutely have and want a duty of care towards these two people in my life, so I'm not complaining. But it was totally out of my control.


And I don't even have kids yet.


I've watched, shared, absorbed, and also said myself, so many quotes, videos and posts preaching you are in control of your time and life.


And to a certain extent that is true.


But to those who have other totally valid responsibilities - those where others DO dictate some of their time and life - this kind of message tells them that you're not doing life right.


It adds even more pressure and guilt to the most efficient of people. It can demotivate and demoralise the best of us.


I've experienced both ends of the control spectrum in my life recently. In London, when it was just me and Luke, we had no family commitments, and it was easy to preach that 100% control message. But moving back to our hometown, where life evolves around family, the struggle to transition and find that balance is real.


The truth is, life does happen.


Family happens. Friends call. Technology fails, or some life admin urgently pops up. Sleep doesn't happen, or emotional health is in need of some nurturing. A medical emergency, or some external force like COVID is suddenly on the plate. Discrimination happens.


We're not always 100% in control of our own lives.


And that's ok.


We're not meant to be 100% in control. No one can be. To aim for 100% control would be to set yourself up for disappointment.


To accept this is to accept the rhythms of life.


It's when you work WITH the rhythms life - not against them - that you'll be able to achieve your goals in a more sustainable fashion, and in turn, actually change those rhythms.

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